Love Languages & Covid-19
We recently received an email from Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages. The subject line “[ACTION STEPS] Things are Changing!” came at an opportune time, as the Real Love Ready team just had a conversation on how to express our Love Language (physical touch) when physical touch is forbidden.
We wanted to share this email from Dr. Gary Chapman as an effort to spread the word that love still exists, and if you’re feeling a little bit confused about how to show love right now, you’re not alone.
Dear Real Love Ready,
Whew, it's been a whirlwind of a week. So much has happened over the past week in the United States and around the world as COVID-19 has escalated to global proportions. We've all been affected one way or another. Some cities have been put on lockdown, while others may be nearing that threshold in the near future. Businesses have shut down, people have been laid off, even local churches have gone online to continue encouraging their faith communities during these unprecedented circumstances.
In the midst of all this, one thing hasn't changed—our human desire to love and to be loved. As more and more people go into self-quarantine and isolation, this emotional need will become even more amplified. So how can we continue to meet the needs of our friends and loved ones during this time?
Here are a few thoughts based of each of the five love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation: Digital technology is wonderful, but remember you can level up a kind or encouraging word by sending more than a text message or email. Try sending a short video or audio message. Just seeing your face and hearing the inflections in your voice will make your words even more powerful.
2. Acts of Service: Check in on others frequently—call, message, or text. If you are able, drop off some food or other necessities (practicing social distance, of course) that you may have an excess of. Needs are everywhere, you simply have to reach out to discover them. Don't get overwhelmed into inaction trying to meet everybody's need, just focus on one person and one need at a time.
3. Gifts: If you are involved in a faith, friend, or neighborhood community, create an online group specializing in random acts of kindness. Challenge each other to post needs and try to come together to meet them. You may not have something to offer, but maybe someone in your group does. Team up and provide some meaningful gifts to those who could use a little pick-me-up. You'll also find working together as a group will encourage all involved. (Note: If you know any new homeschooling parents, here's a great resource that may help them fulfill a health requirement.)
4. Quality Time: During times of isolation and self-quarantine, quality time may look different. Maybe you are not meeting with that friend at the coffee shop, but why not video chat while drinking coffee together. You may not be able to the movies, but you could set up a watch party on Netflix using this chrome plug-in: Netflix Party. Grab some popcorn and enjoy a show together.
5. Physical Touch: Technology has played a crucial role in the midst of this pandemic with many people and organizations offering free videos and content for people stuck at home. Make sure you are taking (and making) time to connect physically with your loved one and children if you are limited to your house. Give a shoulder rub to your spouse while they work on the computer at home. Cozying up near your children as you read them a book. Just be mindful to break from the digital routine for some good, old fashioned connection via physical touch.
May you love and be loved, appreciate and be appreciated in this season.
Warmly,
Dr. Gary Chapman