Understanding Your Downloaded Love Blueprint

Give yourself permission to be fully and wholly yourself.

One of our Real Love Ready Community members asked Terri Cole, “How can I communicate without fear of being corny or needy? A lot of being in a relationship is being vulnerable and “cute” and I truly struggle with that. “

HERE IS WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY…

Wow!  You told me so much by the way you asked the question.   You think communicating makes you corny and needy – not even remotely close to the truth and you think that being in a relationship requires you to be cute?  No. So, what we care about is where did these limiting beliefs come from? Let’s do a quick Downloaded Love Blueprint. It’s like a little inventory that we can do where you go, where did the notion that to be in love you have to be cute?  Where did that come from? That is so specific, right? Imagine what it is like is an Architectural Blueprint for a house that someone else designed decades, maybe centuries ago. And most of the time if you’re not awake in your life, you’re not seeking to understand your behavioural patterns – it just gets passed down from one generation to the next.   So, all of us have these Downloaded Blueprints and they’re all super different. So, I venture guess that the person who asked this question – you, somewhere in your growing up, somewhere in your life you saw that being female, being a woman in relationship means being cute.

“Imagine what it is like is an Architectural Blueprint for a house that someone else designed decades, maybe centuries ago. And most of the time if you’re not awake in your life, you’re not seeking to understand your behavioural patterns – it just gets passed down from one generation to the next. ”

Communication is the life blood of any actual healthy relationship. It is the thing that if you figure nothing else out you have to figure out how to communicate. You must - because there is no way any of us are going to guess well enough to get our needs met in a relationship if we’re not saying what our needs are. I find that with women there is such a tendency to just not do it. We’re just like, “they should know.”

Each family has its own cultural norms around love, so you have to know your own because that is what’s in your Downloaded Love Blueprint (it is also in the basement with the bag of crap!). So, you may not see it. What we think is, we think that this is the way love is. We don’t realize that this may be just the way love was for our folks or our parents or in the home that we grew up in. So, the only way to change that is to realize that you can communicate (for the person who wrote the question) any way you want in a relationship. You don’t need to be cute. How are you going to find your right person if being cute is something you have to put on, but it’s not. So anyway, what I want you do it is take a look at your Downloaded Love Blueprint and then give yourself permission to be fully and wholly yourself because then you will resonate with the person who is a good match for you.

“Give yourself permission to be fully and wholly yourself because then you will resonate with the person who is a good match for you.”